Shrimp and Grits

This blog occasionally features Friday pictures of some of our favorite animals.  This time, though, we’d like to show you something different.  A real tomato, if you will.

Should this picture have come with a “not safe for work” warning?

In South Carolina, you can reliably assume that newspaper “Letters to the Editor” pages will contain a fair amount of right-wing political craziness.  That’s normal for South Carolina.  But sometimes, things lurk deep in the Letters.  Terrifying things – like this letter – which must be seen in its entirety to be fully appreciated**:

Published: July 15, 2009

Just the other day I had an officer call to my house. I responded, “So you called the police?” “Yes,” the person said said. “I was to get even.” The person told me “do what you have to.” Well, I had already knew what I was going to do: call the S.C. Department of Health and Environmental Control on her to make my point.

But you know God has a way of changing things. Where is the good in that?

The Bible does not tell me to do evil for evil, but to overcome evil with good. The battle is not mine; it belongs to the Lord.

But I remember a time; this lets me be reminded of whose I am. Then I heard a voice, just stand still and see the salvation of the Lord. And before you know it God will make everything turn out all right. He’ll make your enemy become your footstool. Be very careful of the stone you throw; that has a way of coming right back to you. We are all at different levels, so we should never compare ourselves to others.

Remember to sweep around your own door before you try to sweep around mine. All I am doing is trying to make things better; with it comes change. We must remember a generation comes behind us; we must make it better.

Thank you Chairwoman Bertha Scott and Lake City Housing; the change is good. Now others can sit on the porch and enjoy the view. Keep up the good work.

L**** B****
Lake City

What’s more frightening?  The letter itself, or the fact that the paper deemed it worthy of publication?

I think, as a response, the paper should publish the picture below (grabbed from a Fark thread long ago):

---

**Letter reproduced here due to scnow’s annoying tendency to break its own links.

Working with chemicals in an industrial setting can be dangerous.  Take this example from North Carolina today, where 20 were hospitalized after an explosion and building collapse:

GARNER, N.C. (AP) — Three people were missing and 20 taken to hospitals after an explosion at a Slim Jim meat products plant in North Carolina, officials said Tuesday.

[...]

“There is a toxic cloud on and about the plant,” Williams said.

[...]

The site produces Slim Jim products. Williams said several people reported hearing an explosion before the building partially collapsed.

The toxic cloud is probably ammonia – very nasty to breathe.  (The article mentions an ammonia leak not yet being contained.)

In true Internet fashion, there’s already a video of the cause of the explosion and collapse.  I’ve embedded it below.

(I do realize that  I’m going to Hell for this post. But I can’t help it; this was the first thing that came to mind when seeing the AP article about the collapse.)

If this doesn’t show up on TLC in the near future, I will be shocked:

Nadya Suleman, who gave birth to octuplets in January, will star in a reality television series about her family, a TV executive said.

[...]

The “quasi-reality TV series” would be “an arrangement whereby several events in the children’s lives would be filmed in a documentary series,”

Anyone remember when TLC was “The Learning Channel”, not “The Lame Channel”?

And in case anyone wonders what “Octomom”’s motivations are, the linked article supplies some insight:

Suleman has sought to trademark her media nickname — Octomom — for a TV show and a line of diapers.

The road between Cate’s daycare and our house has been under construction for some time, since a new bridge over the highway is being built.  So Cate sees a lot of earth movers, bulldozers, and so forth – and has become quite fascinated with them.  She comments every day on the “tractors” and how much she likes them.

She also likes my computer.  And if I let her use my Ebay account, I’m sure that she would probably do this:

A New Zealand couple nearly found themselves in a financial hole when their three-year-old daughter bought an earthdigger in an internet auction.

The child, Pipi Quinlan, was trying out her online skills while her parents were asleep in bed.

As Cate would say:  “I want one tractor!  For me!”

Not willing to let Rick Perry steal all the secessionist glory, some folks in South Carolina are getting in on the act.

Conservative groups are calling on South Carolina legislators to pass a measure asserting state sovereignty.

The resolution declares South Carolina has the right to ignore any federal law or policies it deems unconstitutional. It notes the 10th Amendment gives all powers not delegated to the federal government to states.

That sounds a little like this:

The people of the State of South Carolina, in Convention assembled, on the 26th day of April, A.D., 1852, declared that the frequent violations of the Constitution of the United States, by the Federal Government, and its encroachments upon the reserved rights of the States, fully justified this State in then withdrawing from the Federal Union; but in deference to the opinions and wishes of the other slaveholding States, she forbore at that time to exercise this right. Since that time, these encroachments have continued to increase, and further forbearance ceases to be a virtue.

How well did that work out for us lsat time, hmm?

(Or perhaps this is more like the Ordinance of Nullification in 1832

We, therefore, the people of the State of South Carolina, in convention assembled, do declare and ordain and it is hereby declared and ordained, that the several acts and parts of acts of the Congress of the United States, [...] are unauthorized by the constitution of the United States, and violate the true meaning and intent thereof and are null, void, and no law, nor binding upon this State, its officers or citizens; and all promises, contracts, and obligations, made or entered into, or to be made or entered into, with purpose to secure the duties imposed by said acts, and all judicial proceedings which shall be hereafter had in affirmance thereof, are and shall be held utterly null and void.

… which didn’t work out so well for South Carolina, either.)

It would be really nice, though, if conservatives would stop talking treason just because they’re upset that their last president tanked the economy and their last presidential candidate (unsurprisingly) didn’t win the next election.

Saw this link on Slashdot:

A red digital display counts down the “Study Time Left” and the device beeps and unlocks when the time expires.

The prison-style device weighs 9.5 kg (21 pounds), making it difficult to move while wearing it.

Incentive to study, or S&M toy? You be the judge.

The retailer doesn’t mention it in the ad, but I have to wonder … does it explode if you try to take it off?

Kellie forwarded me this news story and I thought I should pass it on: Restaurant Customer Shot After Complaining.

A South Carolina restaurant employee has been arrested and accused of shooting a customer who complained about the service.

[...]

Deputies said [the employee] worked at a Waffle House restaurant in Manning and was involved in a fight about 4:30 a.m. Sunday.

So what’s the moral of this story?

An armed society is a polite society?

Hmm.  That doesn’t quite seem to fit.

Don’t complain about the service at a Waffle House?

Nope.  Still needs work.

Never, ever go to a Waffle House.

Perfect!

A Spartanburg woman has made a piece of cheese toast that bears an uncanny resemblance to country music legend Crystal Gayle.

As the woman noted…

“I know there’s a lot of people who believe there’s some [...] reason for it being there,” said Lowe, who lives on Lake Bowen. “I just don’t know, but I could never eat it.”

Yes, country music is rather popular here in South Carolina.  What other reason would there be for country music legends to start appearing on toast?

Okay, okay … so the woman actually thought the toast looked like some religious character.  But you can’t tell me that isn’t Crystal Gayle immortalized in cheese!

There are some folks out there who wonder how we in South Carolina managed to elect officials that want to play crazy, stupid games with the federal stimulus package, the state budget, and our underfunded state services.

Let me introduce you to conservatism,  South Carolina style:

What it says:

DEMS DRIVE BUY MEDIA

LARGEST TERRORIST

GROUP IN AMERICA

OBAMA INSANE – THEIR

LEADER – CHILDREN ARE

A PUNISHMENT – ABORT

OUR GOVERNMENT IS A DEN

OF SELFSERVING LIARS

THIEVES – SELLING OUT

HARD WORKING TAX

PAYERS TO ENRICH THEM

SELVES & FRIENDS

And on the other side …

It says:

OUT WITH THE OLD CROOKS

IN WITH THE NEW CROOKS

CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE

IN BILLION GIVEN TO

CONGRESS FROM GROUPS

THAT GOT BAIL OUT MONEY

And there you have it!  South Carolina’s conservative values – as articulated by the “crazy truck guy”.