Shrimp and Grits

Looks like our Lord is moonlighting at a North Carolina gas station.

I hear the gas station did have a little problem with Him when He was first hired. He kept changing the washer fluid to wine.

I can’t eat in here. It’s too noisy!

Sign on the side of the drink machine in the Wiener Works in Fayetteville, NC

I’d heard the food was bad, but isn’t this a little bit of an exaggeration?

Here’s some beef from the local Food Lion:

I’d previously thought God worked at the local car wash, thanks to a sign posted here a while back. Maybe He moonlights in the Food Lion butcher shop!

I bet creating the beef on-site saves Food Lion a bundle in transportation costs. It’s a good thing they’re passing the savings on to us!

Here’s a business located conveniently across the highway from our college: “Robert’s Wholesale Body Parts”. I’m sure the biology instructors love to shop here.

(There’s nothing particularly stupid about this sign, other than the almost-unreadable color scheme. It’s just amusing.)

The Big Lebowski comes to mind here.

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me.

A Christmas store in the Coastal Grand Mall in Myrtle Beach offers this cute toy for sale.

The instructions tell us to:

PRESS MY HAND, TO HEAR ME
SING & SEE MY PERFORMANCE!

You could press his hand all day and nothing would happen. If you press his foot, though, he will start to play his tune.

Looks like someone needs an anatomy lesson!

We went to a local Asian restaurant recently. In addition to the traditional American fork, we were also provided with chopsticks.

I’m not sure about the glonous history and cultual, but the chopsticks can’t be that hard to use, right?

Here are the directions. Step 1:

Um, I’m not sure I have a tnurnb, but on to Step 2:

Chcostick? Okay, now I’m thoroughly confused. But I’ll press on to Step 3:

I guess I can pick up anything. With my fork!

(On a later visit to the same restaurant, we found that the supplier of the chopsticks had corrected the hideously mangled English on the chopstick packet. Bravo!)

From The Weather Channel’s web site, we get this gem:

So is the next storm going to be Typhoon Well Hung?

[The funniest part about this unfortunate name was listening to the Weather Channel TV hosts trying to talk about it, but I can’t put that up on the blog.]

To complement its horrible voice acting, Sega’s recent Shining Force Neo also features horrible grammar.

“Cap … Captain - please don’t rip my guts out with your adamantium claws!”

With writing like this, he should have left his Yahoo Instant Messenger ID, not his phone number. That way, “U” could get in touch with him.

If “U” can’t read the text of this flyer, click the image to enlarge!